What kind of moat could possibly accomodate sharks and crocodiles? (Unless of course we're dealing with some kind of world-first estuarine moat which keeps the water temperate and salty enough to please both saltwater crocodiles and bull sharks - two species which famously fair well in both salt and fresh water.)
Anyway, just to give you an idea of what's going to happen here: this is an ultraviolent romcom. You play a young woman who writes a relationship advice blog. What's the one problem she can't solve? Finding a man (and also disposing of a body). Will there be sharks and castles somewhere down the line? Not sure yet but stay tuned to find out.
It's 9pm on a Friday: you are heading to a house party in a few hours. As per always, you've shaved your entire body (except your head), you're wearing your most binding clothes and are finishing your makeup in your room while drinking a cocktail of your own invention: a Moscow Goatfuck.
The party started at 8:30pm but you signed a blood oath with Satan a few years ago promising you'd never get to a party before 11pm (it's a long story but the gist is this: in your Faustian bargain, Satan promised that you'd always be the smartest, funniest, most interesting girl at any party you go to, but in exchange you can't ever get to a party before 11pm by which point everyone is already tanked so your smartness/funniness/interestingness is wasted). How do you want to pass the time before you can go to the party?